Lucky for me I got the kick up the ass I needed to make the move when I was made redundant, a seed was planted, so when I was offered another role pretty much doing the same thing, I thought..screw it I'm going to do this! so I turned it down, and I haven't looked back since.
So the journey into social work began, first building up enough experience needed to get onto the course, then finding a university that would take me, and finally surviving the gruelling 2 years of essay writing, being organised (which I really wasn't) and learning about the complexity of people.
It's been 4 months since I successfully qualified as a social worker and I have to be honest, the hardest time were these last 4 months.
4 months of long applications, selling myself, smiling like I've got a hanger in my mouth, and 4 months of trying my dammed hardest to get my first job role as a social worker.
It got to a point where I thought I was never going to get hired, each employer telling me I have a strong application and good interview skills but that I just didn't have enough experience....WELL GIVE ME THE BLOODY EXPERIENCE THEN! I thought to myself...quietly.
Finally, after about 20 applications I was offered a role in a strengthening families team, and I start in 2 days time.
Despite the obvious excitement I feel about this opportunity, a big part of me is nervous, feeling like it's my first day at school. Despite all the training I have had, including actually working as a social worker, giving counselling sessions, attending endless child protection meetings and working with different mental health conditions, I still find myself asking:
Will my team like me?
Will my families like me?
What if I realise I've made a huge mistake and I'm not cut out for social work?
What if I'm actually terrible at my job?
What if I can't take being in one of the most hated professions?
What if I get shot, or stabbed or killed?
I try to convince myself that I'm being ridiculously irrational and that I'm fabulous... to no avail.
I guess we will just have to see then won't we.